Daisy's stories

Daisy's story - Self-stigma

Hi there, my name is Daisy and I’m here today to talk to you a little bit about how stigma is perpetuated in our society, within our workplaces, organisations and within our relationships.

I live and work in Melbourne on Wurrungjeri land. I am a wife, a mum and a friend, and I live with what is commonly referred as a mental illness.

One of the interesting things I’ve found about living with mental illness is that often we are so stigmatized that we don’t even realize it’s happening.

Stigma can be so subtle.

It permeates its way into our relationships with ourselves, others and with our organisations and communities.

Stigma is often created unintentionally by societies that are afraid of things they don’t understand, and it is our job, collectively, to change this narrative.

For me, it was shame, stigma and fear that I was holding onto. I was so worried and concerned that people would look at me differently because of what I was experiencing. I was worried that people would question my capacity. That I wouldn’t be given the opportunities that I had been given in the past.

I was worried that I would be judged.

This fear was holding me back. And this fear wasn’t something that I had created, but it was the messages that I’d been given over and over again by the world around me.

We are constantly bombarded in the media, stories and throw away lines about people who are experiencing mental illness. But when we hear these messages often enough we begin to internalise it.

My rational brain knows that I’m self-stigmatizing, but the reality is that my journey - like so many other people’s journeys around their mental health is one of complexity, of highs and lows, beauty and pain, of confusion.

Stigma blocks us from telling our stories. Stigma is fear and it creates fear.

So while something might seem like a harmless comment to some, to me this is adding to the bucket of stigma that I’ve been experiencing my whole life.

Daisy's message - Workplaces can lead change

Workplaces can play a really big role in changing this narrative.

They can create spaces for us to come together to talk about what’s truly going on for us. They need to lead with vulnerability to show everyone that it’s okay to be yourself; that it’s okay to let people know what’s going on for you.

So what do we do when we hear these comments?

Do we approach a person?

So often, the answer is no. Because we are afraid of what could happen to the relationship. We are afraid of getting into an argument or confrontation.

But communication is how we learn. Invite a conversation is a way that isn’t an attack and be welcoming of diversity with curiosity.

Ultimately, we are all equal, and we are going to make mistakes along this journey. But if we can create spaces where we can be vulnerable - where we can come together as equals, then we can create a new future.

We can create workplaces, and societies and communities that celebrate our individual experiences.

We can do this alongside our organisations and communities, and we have to do this together.